New here.
Posted: 02 May 2016 06:54
I decided to register tonight for whatever reasons. I don't truly know how or why I ended up here, and for whatever reason I don't care. I've spent about 2 weeks now ghosting about the forums and a lot of these things make no sense to me, mind you I'm still young, but there seems to be quite the collection of knowledge and wisdom here. I will apologize beforehand, I personally have no religious beliefs or tendancies. I've been curious about life since I was old enough to talk, and a lot of questions I've had have been answered here in the last two weeks in strange ways.
So, I'll introduce myself to you guys. I'm young, 21 to be exact, as I mentioned. I'm a felon, going through the correctional phases the government has placed for me, and I believe it's doing me a lot of good. Since my beginning teenage years I've wanted to make a change and I've thirsted, greedily until recently mind you, for knowledge. I try to read everything I can, and understand it on a level that I think the majority of the population doesn't or cant, and I take deep pride in this.
Now my question. Not too long ago, I had suffered the most recent of my concussions. Since that day I've seemed to notice that I count things. I count how many times a tire spins on a car that drives by, being a gamer, I count the amount of shots coming from automatic rifles. I count how many times people use a certain collection of words over the period of time that I'm having a conversation with them. Why do I do this, and what does it mean for me?
Next question. At night while I'm laying and staring at the ceiling, I fall into what's known as sleep paralysis I believe. Due to reading up on this I found that this is the gateway to one of two things, lucid dreaming, or the ethereal realm if you will. I read a post on here not long ago that I related to, except some things were left out. After practicing this "lucid dreaming" for months now, I find myself losing my grasp on what's real and what I'm dreaming. I can alter my dreams to see and do what I want in these episodes, but I loop myself into a thought that my life is a dream I'm creating. This worries me at times because I don't know whether to take what's going on seriously or not, because I can't differentiate real from dream. Is there a practice someone here might know to direct me away from these thoughts, or away from the addiction with the dreaming that I have.
Another note on the sleep paralysis. The reason I looked it up is that I originally had thought I had a medical condition. Paired with my paralysis episode, I hear, or hallucinate, an extremely loud noise. It gets loud enough that it seems my head may explode, and it worried me to the point of almost seeking professional help because I would jolt myself out of the paralysis as if I was having a night terror, heart rate increases and I'm sweating, and this has been happening since I was 15 or so. Now that I've learned what this lead to, and what it was capable of, I find myself chasing that noise. But why does it happen to me? It still scares me to the point of almost screaming myself out of paralysis, but I chase it. I've yet to learn how to control when the paralysis will come over me, it just happens frequently, 3 to 6 nights a week. I very often find myself being within the dream I'm creating for days or sometimes weeks overnight. Is this misconstrued sense of time weird? Why does it take me only 8 hours to dream a scenario that in my real life would be played out over 4 days?
Sorry guys, it's late, and my minds wandering. Thanks for any answers you can provide, and thanks for all the answers you have provided. I look forward to any and all the knowledge I will gain from you, and I appreciate your willingness to share such a wealth.
So, I'll introduce myself to you guys. I'm young, 21 to be exact, as I mentioned. I'm a felon, going through the correctional phases the government has placed for me, and I believe it's doing me a lot of good. Since my beginning teenage years I've wanted to make a change and I've thirsted, greedily until recently mind you, for knowledge. I try to read everything I can, and understand it on a level that I think the majority of the population doesn't or cant, and I take deep pride in this.
Now my question. Not too long ago, I had suffered the most recent of my concussions. Since that day I've seemed to notice that I count things. I count how many times a tire spins on a car that drives by, being a gamer, I count the amount of shots coming from automatic rifles. I count how many times people use a certain collection of words over the period of time that I'm having a conversation with them. Why do I do this, and what does it mean for me?
Next question. At night while I'm laying and staring at the ceiling, I fall into what's known as sleep paralysis I believe. Due to reading up on this I found that this is the gateway to one of two things, lucid dreaming, or the ethereal realm if you will. I read a post on here not long ago that I related to, except some things were left out. After practicing this "lucid dreaming" for months now, I find myself losing my grasp on what's real and what I'm dreaming. I can alter my dreams to see and do what I want in these episodes, but I loop myself into a thought that my life is a dream I'm creating. This worries me at times because I don't know whether to take what's going on seriously or not, because I can't differentiate real from dream. Is there a practice someone here might know to direct me away from these thoughts, or away from the addiction with the dreaming that I have.
Another note on the sleep paralysis. The reason I looked it up is that I originally had thought I had a medical condition. Paired with my paralysis episode, I hear, or hallucinate, an extremely loud noise. It gets loud enough that it seems my head may explode, and it worried me to the point of almost seeking professional help because I would jolt myself out of the paralysis as if I was having a night terror, heart rate increases and I'm sweating, and this has been happening since I was 15 or so. Now that I've learned what this lead to, and what it was capable of, I find myself chasing that noise. But why does it happen to me? It still scares me to the point of almost screaming myself out of paralysis, but I chase it. I've yet to learn how to control when the paralysis will come over me, it just happens frequently, 3 to 6 nights a week. I very often find myself being within the dream I'm creating for days or sometimes weeks overnight. Is this misconstrued sense of time weird? Why does it take me only 8 hours to dream a scenario that in my real life would be played out over 4 days?
Sorry guys, it's late, and my minds wandering. Thanks for any answers you can provide, and thanks for all the answers you have provided. I look forward to any and all the knowledge I will gain from you, and I appreciate your willingness to share such a wealth.