my every christmas
Posted: 25 Dec 2025 22:24
So I have recently been researching into the Egyptian ka, and its alleged regard of how it brings you to your family in birth. Now, this is a universal thing supposedly, no matter what term you call it... grand scheme, if you want to. I mean, your family can theoretically rape, murder, or anything else considered bad with you.
But me, personally...
It's either my life was altered, but if it is the grand scheme, then that altering too would be predetermined— but I do not relate to anyone in my family anymore, if there ever was a time. I am completely isolated outside of specific friends, and even then, I am alone.
Perhaps this is a specific part of my growth. I am numbed, so I do not feel. But these are very unsympathetic, benign and hiveminded creatures that resemble what are my "family", but I do not know what hell I had to go through and why in my growth to endure this. My soul family, if there ever was one, is not the biological. If it was, not anymore. My soul is altered, has been for years, after childhood.
I do not understand God's role with me. Is there any?
But me, personally...
It's either my life was altered, but if it is the grand scheme, then that altering too would be predetermined— but I do not relate to anyone in my family anymore, if there ever was a time. I am completely isolated outside of specific friends, and even then, I am alone.
Perhaps this is a specific part of my growth. I am numbed, so I do not feel. But these are very unsympathetic, benign and hiveminded creatures that resemble what are my "family", but I do not know what hell I had to go through and why in my growth to endure this. My soul family, if there ever was one, is not the biological. If it was, not anymore. My soul is altered, has been for years, after childhood.
I do not understand God's role with me. Is there any?